So today was the day in which I completed my first Thirty30 activity!! I made my own cheese!! Was so chuffed after my birthday when I discovered that Tesco were infact selling a 'Make Your Own Cheese' kit for just £10!! (The exact amount I had been given for my birthday!) I grabbed it but haven't had much spare time and motivation to get going with it. So this week for my weekly meal plan I decided to include a dish that required mascarpone cheese - making me having to make the cheese otherwise we would be a meal down.
I was pleased when I discovered that the cheese took not even 24 hours to make and equally pleased to read that it only required some full fat cream! So back off to Tesco to buy some cream. My daughter and I gathered all the necessary equipment and began to follow the instructions.
I found it interesting to discover that even something seemingly fun and simple still managed to create an elevated anxiety in me - the thought of getting it wrong and it not working started to get to me part way through the process and began to drain away my enthusiasm. Each step after this ought a new little bit o apprehension - would be a success or failure; would it be an achievement or just a complete flop! The process began with an 'I wonder' approach and ended with a 'what if' thought process. Reflecting upon it has made me realise just how much some of my anxieties can ruin what starts out as a positive - it's a destroyer and will continue destroying activities, hobbies and passions of mine if I don't stand in it's way!! It's been really helpful to recognise this and I can see it's a pattern of mine - find the first thought and perhaps action of an activity exciting and then part way through I begin to get anxious and think the 'what if' thoughts!! I'm hoping this realisation is something that i can pick up in many areas of my life and stamp it out by shifting my anxious thoughts from 'what if' to 'I wonder'.
Looking forward to discovering more along the way of this adventure!!